I look back at all the bad I have done, and it is quite the pile. But I hold no anger against myself, nor the people whom I once thought “drove” me to it. This is a feat of itself. I am saddened I have lost love, though can that truly be lost? Not on this end, that is. I will always love him, not romantically (strange how I must make that distinction), but as another human being I wish him only well, and I wish he finds happiness. The bond was sickly though, and to severe it was the best. I thank him for that. I apologize for the pain that was required on his end, though. I am saddened I lost that group of friends, but over something so trivial (loyalty, to them, is lost through sex) it was a Darwinian companion cleanse. I will find new creatures with whom I connect, not settle for those I find comfortable, sheer vicinity dictating my spiritual bonds is a thing of the past. I want to learn, and teach, thus collaborative growth shall blossom.
First, I shall cultivate my own mind. Learn to love myself, foster that which makes my soul sing. I will explore, write, practice yoga, meditate, create sacristy in place and self, and learn. I will find joy, I will hold love.